Getting it and then Losing it

I was thinking about someone I used to know and it reminded me of a time she said something about "getting it" and "losing it". Which also reminds me that Someone named John doesn't write his own work. He doesn't mean someone else is holding him captive and writing for him, I don't think. He means when he sits down and types it comes from someone or somewhere else. Imagine a ghost in your body at the keys? I don't mind. I feel like I have a ghost living inside of me anyway and her name is Anna. My name is Sylvia. Dun dun dun. Does she was a split personality? No. That's my middle name. No. I have an alter ego and her name is Sylvia Donovan. My middle name and my grandfather on my mother's side's last name. Confusing? Not really. Only that last sentence was. Moving on.

She was talking about getting it and losing it. Then I started thinking about how we are given things but sometimes we lose them. It can be money. It can be an item. It can be a job. Throughout our lives we will get stuff and then lose it, but it seems to me it does matter to safe guard what's valuable at all costs. When we protect the things we care about we can usually keep them. Not always but more often than not. When you wear that hat someone you love gave you you bring a part of them with you. When you protect, and I mean really protect, the people you care about they tend to stick around. Then I started thinking about souls and how we must protect them at all costs. It is possible to sell your soul or lose it in my opinion. Someone once said to me "I want your body, not your soul." Oh what a relief.

Getting it and then losing. Or thinking you got it, but realizing you never actually picked it up. You saw it on the counter and you made it yours, but you never picked it up, so you realized you didn't get it. Or you saw something and you wanted to buy it, but you didn't have enough money. Or currency. Money and currency seem different to me, but I get confused easily. I don't really. Are you confused. There's a gang of raccoons that run this place at night and when I hear them scream a part of me winces. Getting it and losing it. How about getting it and keeping it. But then if you get it and decide you don't want it and you can't lose it, what then? Or you could get it and lose it. On purpose. Or get and lose it and then get it back and then lose it again. I'm sure a physicist could figure it out. All the ways you can get it and lose it. Or you lose it and get something else. It goes on and on. That's why I love stream of consciousness it's the perfect outlet for someone with ADD.

Sometimes I make things. I make strange artifacts that have no value. I beaded a bracelet that has a garden of miniature flowers along it. I beaded each small different flower. It fits me. I never wear it. It's almost like it's not supposed to be worn. And if I gave it to someone else they would have to really love it, because I don't think most people would wear it. They would get something shiny like i did. little i. diminutive. i remember when I first discovered a person online who wrote on a famous actress's board and always seemed to use the little i. For some reason i liked it, because she seemed cute and small. The big I seems to want too much sometimes. I like this, I like that. we don't care. What's going to be interesting to us? Getting it and losing?!


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