Simultaneously

Two, or possibly three things, happened simultaneously. A Dianthus Sweet William potted plant with bright red flowers was stolen from a hardware store and someone lost $100. The Dianthus was given to a young woman with natural red hair for her birthday. She thought it was a sweet purchase; a thoughtful gift. A couple people missed the $100 on the ground because they were looking at a woman's cleavage. She was doing something else so they didn't mind looking. The busy sidewalk was an obvious place for the bill to be. Ironically a rich businessman found the money and he's not talking. He's not looking for the owner either. The bill was dropped at the exact moment the plant was picked up and a centrifuge was created on the other side of town. A young mad scientist (because secretly they're all mad) turned his machine on and it whirred to life. The purpose was wonderfully simple. He created a particle accelerator using relativistic centripetal force with opposing beam collision at 8 tera electronvolts per nucleon. Which is no news, the Large Hadron Collider has 8 tera electronvolts, but it's not located in a barn or powered by what this scientist is using. Top secret: sorry can't say. What the scientist doesn't know is there's an unknown element to his particle accelerator. There are small bugs, like aphids, involved. It doesn't actually harm his device, but there's a molecular compound in the bugs which alters the exchange. Because he's not working in a sanitized environment, and he can't dispose of much hazardous waste, nature is at work. He understands the Pythagorean Theorem better than most. However, if a squared + b squared = c squared. Then let the plant being stolen be a, the bill being dropped is b, and the success of the machine is c. And so we have a trifecta. Ask me who I am. My tank top is low cut and frilly. By design I am the recorder of moments or the activated high jumper. Simultaneously d squared.