"I never said no though, I just didn't agree to date him immediately. All I'm saying is...pass the cream...this coffee is a dark roast for sure less caffeine than a light roast...all I'm saying is bring me the bacon. Shit. I mean I'm starving. I'm not making any sense. I mean he should wait, but not, both at the same time. Why aren't we talking? You're so quiet. Are you okay?" Anna looked at her friend and stared into her eyes trying to see what was there.

"I don't know. I feel like everyone's in love, but me." Samantha said and her hazel eyes looked golden and fierce yet sad. Like she'd seen too much.

"I'm sorry." Anna felt distantly sad, because she didn't really understand what was happening. Or why. She felt sad because she understood that her friend was in pain like everyone else. It'ok. She thought. People love her a lot, so let her be as she is.

They sat at a small thick wooden table for two in the little french restaurant. The waitress with the dark braids and thick black rimmed glasses dropped off the food. Samantha was eating an egg white omelet with bell peppers, onions, garlic, spinach, and feta cheese. She drank honey lemon for her throat. She liked to saturate herself with flavors, scents, smells, touch but only in certain ways.

"Ok let me tell you how I think it is. The straight truth is that I don't want to be in love. It's a choice. I'm manifesting my existence on a higher plane. I know you can tell I'm saying what I think is true."

"That's intense! You are so deep now. You are SO deeeeep." Anna smiled at her like a mother looking at her child. You can be my child she said to herself. You can be my child. If I cannot have a child I will always have you. It came with more meanings than one.

"Like I was saying, I made him wait. But honestly only for like a second or two."


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